



i 



AUNT SUSAN'S TROUBLES 
ON THE FARM 



A MONOLOGUE 



*S» 



-)*• 





By 
LILLIAN DAVIDSON 






® 



0. 






The Dramatic Publishing Company 




,^^®feaia|a^^fegs^^yvit^^s8gSg^^ 



Hageman's Make-Up Book 

By MAURICE HAGEMAN 

Price, 25 cents 

Trie importance of an effective make-up is becoming more appar> 
8nt to the professional actor every year, but hitherto there has been 
no book on the subject describing the modern methods and at tne 
same time covering all branches of the art. This want has now 
been filled. Mr. Hageman has had an experience of twenty years 
as actor and stage-manager, and his well-known literary ability has 
enabled him to put the knowledge so gained into shape to be of 
use to others. The book is an encyclopedia of the art of making up. 
Every branch of the subject is exhaustively treated, and few ques- 
tions can be asked by professional or amateur that cannot be an- 
swered by this admirable hand-book. It is not only the best make- 
up bock ever published, but it is not likely to be superseded by 
•Any other. It is absolutely indispensable to every ambitious actor 

CONTENTS 

Chapter I. Genera! Remarks. 

Chapter II. Grease-Paints, their origin, components and use. 

Chapter III. The Make-up Eox. Grease-Paints, Mirrors, Face 
Powder and Puff, Exora Cream, Rouge. .Liquid Color, Grenadine, 
Blue for the Eyelids, Brilliantine for the Hair, Nose Putty, Wig 
Paste, Mascaro, Crape Hair, Spirit Gum, Scissors, Artists' Stomps, 
Cold Cream, Cocoa Butter, Recipes for Cold Cream. 

Chapter IV. Preliminaries before Making up; the Straight Make- 
up and how to remove it. 

Chapter V. Remarks to Ladies. Liquid Creams, Rouge, Lips, 
Eyebrows, Eyelashes, Character Roles, Jewelry, Removing Make-up 

"Chapter VI. Juveniles. Straight Juvenile Make-up, Society 
Men, Young Men in 111 Health, with Red Wigs, Rococo Make-up, 
Hands, Wrists, Cheeks, etc. 

Chapter VII. Adults, Middle Aged and Old Men. Ordinary Type 
of Manhood, Lining Colors, Wrinkles, Rouge, Sickly and Healthy 
Old Age, Ruddy Complexions. 

Chapter VIII. Comedy and Character Make-ups. Comedy Ef- 
fects, Wigs. Beards, Eyebrows, Noses, Lips, Pallor of Death. 

Chapter IX. The Human Features. The Mouth and Lips, the 
Eyes and Eyelids, the Nose, the Chin, the Ear, the Teeth. 

Chapter X. Other Exposed Parts of the Human Anatomy. 
1 Chapter XL Wigs, Bearers, Moustaches, and Eyebrows. Choosing 
a Wig, Powdering the Hair, Dimensions for Wigs, Wig Bands, Bald 
Wigs, Ladies' Wigs, Beards on Wire, on Gauze, Crape Hair, Wool, 
Beards for Tramps, Moustaches, Eyebrows. 

Chapter XII. Distinctive and Traditional Characteristics. North 
American Indians, New England Farmers, Hoosiers, Southerners. 
Politicians, Cowboys, Minors. Quakers, Tramps Creoles, Mulattoes, 
Quadroons, Octoroons. Negroes, Soldiers during War, Soldiers dur- 
ing Peace, Scouts, Pathfinders, Puritans, Early Dutch Settlers, 
Englishmen, Scotchmen, Irishntren.lFrenchmen, Italians, Spaniards, 
Portuguese, South Americans, Scjytdinavians, Germans, Hollanders. 
Hungarians, Gipsies, Russians/ 3*urks, Arabs, Moors, Caffirs, Abys- 
Sinians, Hindoos, Malays, Chinese, Japarrese, Clowns and Statuary, 
Hebrews, Drunkards, Lunatics, Idiots, Misers, Rogues. 

Address Orders to 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 

CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 



AUNT SUSAN'S 

TROUBLES ON 

THE FARM 

MONOLOGUE FOR A WOMAN 



By 

LILLIAN DAVIDSON 



Copyright 1910 
By The Dramatic Publishing Company 



CHICAGO 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 






v<> 



4k 

DEC 26 1.916 



'CI.D 45740 

TMP92-009043 



AUNT SUSAN'S TROUBLES ON THE 
FARM 

Scene. — Kitchen in Country Home. Aunt Susan iron- 
ing — dressed in costume of old country woman. 



Aunt Susan. — [Discovered at rise.] These men folks 
do beat all creation. If I couldn't do nothin' better 
than sleep, sleep, sleep every rainy day, I'd quit living 
on the farm and go to the city where folks were born 
lazy and people don't expect nothin' else of 'em. Why 
Ian' sakes alive, where would we be if I slept every rainy 
day, I'd like to know. How would the washin' an' 
ironin' and bakin' an' cookin', and dish washin' and 
sweepin', and dustin', and mendin', an' churnin* git 
done. To say nothin' of feedin' the chickens, an' turkeys, 
an ' gatheriri ' the eggs, and makin ' preserves, and pickles 
an' apple-butter, an' hoin' the garden, an' carrying in 
the wood an' water, an' se win', and mendin', an' patching 
and darnin'. Of course Josiah is a good enough sort if 
he wasn't so tarnal lazy. ■ Why only last week I jest 
mentioned that I would like to have a pair of Sunday 
shoes and the very next time he went to town he brought 
me home a pair. Of course they wasn't what I wanted 
and didn't fit and he bought them out of my egg money, 
but la, you can't expect' everything of a man. Well, I 
just must wake him up for its time to milk. [Goes R. 2.] 
Josiah — Josiah — don't you think it's about time to milk 
the cow? Oh dear, he is the hardest man to wake — 
Josiah — well then why don't you go — you're just a goin', 
yes, jist a goin' to sleep again. Didn't I tell you it 
was about time to milk the cow ? Well, then go— what 

3 



4 AUNT SUSAN'S TROUBLES ON THE FARM 

did I marry you for anyway. Well, I'm glad I'm not 
a man. [Goes back to ironing.] They say it takes all 
kinds of people to make a world, an' I'm mighty glad 
I'm not one of 'em. [Crash heard B. 1 — she rushes and 
throivs open door.] Lan' sakes — Josiah, what do be the 
matter? .What in the world have you been doin' any- 
way? What did I put the rat trap on your milk stool 
for? I didn't put it there to catch a fool. Josiah, go 
and milk that cow. Josiah — don't spill the milk. [Goes 
back to ironing.] Bother the good-for-nothing-men any- 
way. I don't see what use they are in the world, except 
to pester the life out of a body, gettin' them to do any- 
thing. [Crash heard R. 1. She drops iron and rushes 
to door.] 

Well, Josiah Hopkins, you are a sight. You're enough 
to make a pig laugh. Huh, pigs don't laugh? Well 
they would if they saw you. No, don't come in here, 
some one might see you and they sure would be shocked. 
You jes' stand right there till I get you another shirt. 
What? The turkey gobbler? Well if I was a man I 
don't think I'd stand still and let a' ole pesky turkey 
gobbler tear my shirt clean off en my back. You wasn't 
stanen' still? Leastwise you wasn't runnin' as fast as 
that turkey gobbler. No, Josiah, don 't come in here. Miss 
Jones may be here any minute. Oh, there's a shirt 
hangin' right out there behind that door. Josiah — you 
didn't spill the milk did you? Well I never seen sich 
a man. We'll be in the poor house yet. Well, whose 
fault is it if we are in a pretty poor house now? I'm 
sure it isn't mine. Now go out and finish milkin' that 
cow and shoo the turkey gobbler off. You surely haven 't 
lived on a farm nigh onto seventy years and don 't know 
that much. Well if that isn't the beatenest. [Slams 
door, goes back to ironing.] But he sure did look funny. 
But I'm thankful for one thing — that shirt is past- 
mendin'! Let's see, what day of the month is it any- 
way? Brother Sprague's daughter Helen is going to 
get married the 26th, and he wanted me an' Josiah to 
go up, but I ain't much sot on takin' him to the city 



AUNT SUSAN'S TROUBLES ON THE FARM 5 

no how. And since Brother Sprague has struck oil 
and has been livin' in such style, I'm afraid they'd be 
ashamed of Josiah, and I never ken get him to fix his- 
self up none. Now I ken fix up an' act so as no body 
would know but what I'd lived in the city all my life. 
Let me see, this is the 15th — no — I can tell by the alma- 
nac. 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26— [Gets almanac and turns 
leaves over.] Seven days — it's a good thing I fixed over 
my silk dress. Now all I have to do is to trim my hat 
and its a bran new one, too. An' those streamers I 
got for it are some gorgeous — I wouldn 't spile it wearin ' 
it on the train so I had the milliner give me one of them 
big bandboxes to carry it in an' I guess with that and 
Josiah 's telescope and a bundle or two, we ken get along 
all right. I wonder if my unbrelly will do ? Well if I 
get enough fur my eggs next week I may buy a bran 
new one. They'll be surprised to see me come trippin' 
in jest like I'd alius lived there. [Tries to skip across 
the floor.] But whatever will I do with Josiah — I never 
ken get him spruced up to [Sits.] look like I do — well, I 
guess he'll be all right if I borry Deacon Judd's stove 
pipe hat for him. That'll jest set him off — an' it's most 
as good as new too. The deacon hasn't wore it more n 
a dozen times in the last six years. [Rises.] Well, now 
that I 've got everything settled, I '11 finish my ironin ' in 
a jiffy. [Irons very fast.] And then me and Josiah 
will commence to get ready for the weddin'. I wonder 
if I ought to have any orange blossoms. I guess it won 't 
do no hurt to have just a little bunch pinned on some- 
where. I think people most always have orange blossoms 
to a weddin'. [Crash heard R. 1 — screams, drops iron, 
ironing board falls, rushes to door.] Josiah Hopkins — 
what are you into now? Nothin'? Well you'd better 
get into a barrel the way you look. What ? Oh, is that 
all ? I thought at least that you 'd been hit by a Kansas 
cyclone, struck by lightnin ' and run over by an elephant, 
judgin' by the way you look an' the fuss you make. 
Ain't you old enough yet to know enough to keep away 
from a cow what has a bran new calf? And I bet you 



/ 



6 AUNT SUSAN'S TROUBLES ON THE FARM 

spilled every drop of that milk, too. No, Josiah, don't 
come in here — some one might be stoppin' in, on the 
way to town. You'll find a pair of overalls hangin' 
over in that corner. Well, there's one consolation, them 
pants is past mendin', too. 



CURTAIN. 



A ROSE O' PLYMOUTH 
TOWN 

A ROMANTIC COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 

By 
BEULAH MARIE DIX 

and 

EVELYN GEENLEAF SUTHERLAND 



PRICE, BOUND IN CLOTH, $1.25 
BOUND IN PAPER COVER, 50 CENTS 



This comedy is dedicated to Miss Minnie Dupree, who 
first impersonated "Rose," the exquisite female leading 
part. There are four male and four female characters 
in the play, which takes an entire evening. The cos- 
tumes are of the period of 1622, in New England. 



SYNOPSIS 



Act I — The Kitchen in Captain Standish's house. An 
early August morning — Stolen Fruit. 

Act II — The Dooryard of Captain Standish's house. 
An afternoon in October — A Maid's Toys. 

Act III — Same as Act I. A night in March — The Red 
Light on the Snow. 

Act IV — Same as Act I. The next afternoon — The 
Better Man. 

Address orders to 

THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 



Won Back 

A Play in Foxxt Acts 

By 
CLIFTON W. TAYLEUR 

Pr ice, 25 cents 

Six male, four female characters. A play written in the same 
*rein as "Held by the Enemy," "Shenandoah," "Across the Poto- 
mac," and other great New York successes. Mr. Tayleur has writ- 
ten many successful plays, but this striking picture of the stirring 
times of the Great Rebellion surpasses them all. Costumes, civil 
and military of the period. Scenes, two interiors, and one land- 
scape with Confederate camp, easily managed. Time of playing, 
two hours and thirty minutes. 

SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS 
ACT I— Drawing-room, Arlington, Washington — J 860 

"Whom first we love, you know, we seldom wed; 
Time rules us all: and life indeed is not 
The thing we planned it out, ere hope was dead, 
And then, we women cannot choose our lot." 
In fetters — The rivals — North and South — The coy widow — A 
noted duelist — An old affection — The dismissal — The rivals meet— 
"You shall answer for this" — Farewell. 

ACT II — Same Scene— I860 

•'Who might have been — Ah, what, I dare not think- 
We are all changed. God judges for the best. 
God help us do our duty, and not shrink, 
And trust in Heaven humbly for the rest." 
Broken ties — A Vassar girl's idea of matrimony — A Washington 
savf?e — Schooling a lover — Affairs of honor — The Northern pr"»- 
eate. — The missing challenge — Betrothed. 

ACT III — Drawing-room in New York Hotel— J 86 J 

"With bayonets slanted in the glittering light 
With solemn roll of drums, 
With starlit banners rustling wings of night, 
The knightly concourse comes." 
To arms! To arms! — Stand by the flag — A woman's duty — A 
skirmish in the parlor — On to Richmond — Reunited — The passing 
regiment. 

ACT IV— Confederate Camp at Winchester J 864 

"No more shall the war cry sever, or the winding river be red; 
They banish our anger forever, when they laurel the graves of our 
dead." 
A cowards* armor— A hand to hand struggle — Hugh captured— 
Sentenced to be shot — A ministering angel — Harold King's re- 
venge — The attack on the camp — Death of King — Af ter the battle- - 
Won back. 

Address Orders to 

THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPANY 

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 



Practical Instructions for 
Private Theatricals 

ByW.D. EMERSON 
Author of "A Country Romance," "The Unknown Rival/* 

"Humble Pie," etc. 



Price, 25 cents 






Here is a practical hand-took, describing in detail all the 
accessories, properties, scenes and apparatus necessary for an 
imateur production. In addition to the descriptions in words, 
everything is clearly shown in the numerous pictures, more 
than one hundred being inserted in the book. i\o such useful 
book has ever been offered to the amateur players of any 
country. 

CONTENTS 

Chapter I. Introductory Remarks. 

Chapter II. Stage, How to Make, <3tc. In drawing-room? 
or parlors, with sliding or hinged doors. In a single large 
room. The Curtain; how to attach it, and raise it, etc. 

Chapter III. Arrangement of Scenery. How to hang it. 
Drapery, tormentors, wings, borders, drops. 

Chapter IV. Box Scenes. Center door pieces, plain wings, 
door wings, return pieces, etc. 

Chapter V. How to Light the Stage. Oil, gas and elecLric 
light. Footlights, Sidelights, Reflectors. How to darken the 
stage, etc. 

Chapter VI. Stage Effects. Wind, Rain, Thunder, Break- 
ing Glass, Falling Buildings, Snow, Water, Waves, Cascades, 
Passing Trains, Lightning, Chimes, Sound of Horses ' Hoofs, 
Shots. 

Chapter VII. Scene Painting. 

Chapter VIII. A Word to the Property Man. 

Chapter IX. To the Stage Manager. 

Chapter X. The Business Manager. 

Address Orders to 
THE DRAMATIC PUBLISHING COMPAN\ 

CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 



iiii«iiiSf RY 0F C0NGRESS 

016 102 937 3 # 

PLAYS 

And Entertainment Books. 

JflEING the largest theatrical booksellers in 
W" the United States, we keep in stock the most 
complete and best assorted lines of plays and en- 
tertainment books to be found anywhere. 

We can supply any play or book pub- 
lished. We have issued a catalogue of the best 
plays and entertainment books published in 
America and England. It contains a full 
description of each play, giving number of char- 
acters, time of playing, scenery, costumes, etc. 
This catalogue will be sent free on application. 

The plays described are suitable for ama- 
teurs and professionals, and nearly all of them 
may be played free of roj^alty. Persons inter- 
ested in dramatic books should examine our cat- 
alogue before ordering elsewhere. 

We also carry a full line of grease paints, 
face powders, hair goods, and other "make-up" 

aaterials. 

The Dramatic Publishing Company 
CHICAGO 



